Interview with Megan van Eyck, author of 'Memoirs of a Widowed Mistress'

We're talking today to Megan van Eyck, author of the memoir, Memoirs of a Widowed Mistress.

You can visit Megan’s website at www.widowedmistress.com.

Q: Welcome to The Writer's Life, Megan. Can you tell us how long you’ve been writing and how your journey led to writing your latest book, Memoirs of a Widowed Mistress?

I have always loved to write, but it wasn’t until after my lover of five years died from Amyloidosis, a rare blood disorder, that I decided I wanted to write a book.


Q: I love your title. Can you tell us why you chose it?

The goal of the title is not only to grab a potential reader’s attention, but to tell a story. From the title Memoirs of a Widowed Mistress you instantly know a few key facts about my story: I had a sexual relationship with a married man, he died, and I love him enough to unapologetically consider myself an emotional widow. I believe that is very powerful and compelling.

Q: Why did you believe your book should be published?

My story is a personal story that not only chronicles my affair, but my personal struggle with love that began when I was a child growing up with a mother who was a bipolar hoarder. I believe my story will not only provide solace to other women who engage in affairs, but to people who have survived horrible childhoods. In the end, the one thing that I believe can be said about me as a person, whether you approve of my choices or not, is that I am a survivor.

While I resorted to some pretty severe behaviors in order to learn the lessons I did, the catalyst for all that is good in my life has been love. Love saved me. I believe that is a message worth sharing.


Q: We all know that publishers can’t do all of the publicity and that some lies on the author. What has your publisher done so far to publicize the book and what have you done?

Actually, I have chosen to self-publish. When all is said and done, I wanted to have control over my story and how it is represented. Consequently, I make all of the decisions related to promoting my story. Recently, I signed up with Pump Up Your Book and began a blog tour that lasts through April. For more information, please visit my website, www.widowedmistress.com, and click on “Guest Blog Appearances, Interviews and reviews.”

I am also about to sign with a literary Public Relations agency. I am very excited to see how they will help me promote Memoirs of a Widowed Mistress.

Q: What book on the market can it compare to? How is it different? What makes your book special?
Gee, that’s a tough one. I would say that Memoirs of a Widowed Mistress is a hybrid cross between Sickened, Loose Girl, and The Geography of Love—at least that’s what I aspire to.



Q: Open to a random page in your book. Can you tell us what is happening?

About two years into my love affair with Carlos, my mother passed away. I had many unresolved feelings: anger, hurt, resentment, longing. I had nightmares and struggled to find emotional footing after the funeral. Carlos decided that I needed to get away and offered to take me to Hawaii. This was an especially romantic idea because we had met on a flight to Hawaii.

As we sit next to each other this time, our chemistry was much different. We were not strangers. Instead we were two people who were deeply familiar with each other and who shared a very playful sensuality. As the plane coasted, we laughed and giggled as his hand slid up my skirt, concealed by a thin blue standard-issue airplane blanket.

It was a playful moment, but also a very tender one. And it was that trip to Hawaii when our affair transitioned from something simple to something deeper and more honest.

Q: Do you plan subsequent books?
Yes, I do as a matter of fact. I have a concept for a series of children’s books. But for now, I am quite busy with Memoirs of a Widowed Mistress.


Q: Thank you for your interview, Megan. Do you have any final words?

Thank you so much for having me. I realize that infidelity is a touchy and sometimes painful subject. Many people get so caught up in their fear and judgments that they forget to stop and consider the emotions that go into an affair. I don’t mean the lust or rush of adrenaline you feel as you wait to reunite with your lover; I mean the loneliness that precedes the chance encounter that turns into adultery. There are many desperately lonely married people in this country—I was one of them. I know many more.

People like to believe that love can’t happen in an affair, that amidst all of the lies and deceit nothing beautiful can grow. But the mistress isn’t the one living the lie—the wife is. And yet it’s the wife who has all of the control. Many cheaters are simply waiting to feel that their spouses love them, to rekindle what once was. You have to read my story to see how it ends, but my story is a testament to this notion.
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