Interview with Frank Zaccari, author of 'When the Wife Cheats'

A native of upstate New York, Frank Zaccari earned a degree in finance from California State University at Sacramento after serving as a military medic in the U.S. Air Force. He spent over 25 years in the high-tech industry holding positions from account representative to CEO, and for nearly 20 years specialized in turn-around management of companies under 100 million dollars. After becoming a single, custodial parent after nearly 25 years of marriage, he left an industry that he loved to buy a small business in order to be home to raise his children. He is currently the owner of an insurance agency and resides in Sacramento, California. Frank Zaccari’s previous book is From The Ashes: The Rise of the University of Washington Volleyball Program.

His latest book is When the Wife Cheats.

You can visit his website at

Q: Welcome to The Writer's Life, Frank. Can you tell us how long you’ve been writing and how your journey led to writing your latest book, When the Wife Cheats?

This is my first book. This book is based on several true stories woven into one book. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I am not a family counselor, or self help guru. I am just your average American man. After my wife left our family, I had no intention of writing a book. I became a single custodial parent for two teenage daughters. My daughters were devastated when their mother left. We spent many hours in counseling.

What I learned from family counselors, social workers and sociology professors was that a woman walking away from her family is a relatively new development. I was told that this is the first generation in the U.S. where the wife/mother abandons the family. They quickly added there is little to no research on the impact this behavior will have on children, particularly daughters. One counselor suggested that I write a book. She said it will help my daughters validate their feeling. Being a guy – I had no desire to even talk about this situation let alone write a book, but I did discuss it with my daughters. They both agreed it would be a good idea and they wanted to be involved in the process. My oldest daughter said if this helps one family avoid this horrible situation then it will be worth the effort.

Q: I love your title. Can you tell us why you chose it?

The name came up in a counseling session. One of the counselors had said we need someone to write a book about the impact on families, particularly daughters when the wife cheats. The name just stuck.

Q: Why did you believe your book should be published?

As the word about my wife’s affair and leaving the family made its way around our community, a strange thing happened; male friends and acquaintances told me how sorry they were and shared a similar experience. I was shocked. I had no idea so many men had been victimized by infidelity. I thought I was the only man who was so terrible that my wife not only left me, she left our entire family. I knew something was terribly wrong with our marriage, but I had no idea what it was and my wife was not forthcoming with the reason. This topic is now being discussed on radio and television talk shows. We need to get this topic out in the open so we can help father led families know they are not alone and can survive and eventually thrive.

Q: We all know that publishers can’t do all of the publicity and that some lies on the author. What has your publisher done so far to publicize the book and what have you done?

I self published When the Wife Cheats so everything has been on me. I contacted Pacific Book Review who wrote a very nice review. The review can be found at I also contracted with them to create a book trailer which can be found at

I was introduced to Charles Barrett from the Barrett Company who has been very helpful scheduling radio show interviews and various blog reviews. It is a great deal of work, but I am enjoying the adventure.

Q: What book on the market can it compare to? How is it different? What makes your book special?

We did a great deal of research on this topic and we didn’t find any books that address when the wife cheats. This side of the infidelity story is rarely discussed mainly because most men are unwilling to talk. Since the wife/mother leaving the family is fairly new in the United States it is about time we got this topic out in the open. I hope we can help father led families know they are not alone and they can survive this terrible ordeal.

Q: Open to a random page in your book. Can you tell us what is happening?

I opened to page 57. Denise, the main female character is working out at a gym with her girl friend Patti. Patti has been telling Denise about an affair she had to get even with her husband. Denise then reveals to Patti they she has started an affair. Denise says “I feel excitement and guilt, but mostly excitement.”

Q: Do you plan subsequent books?

I have written a second book From the Ashes: the Rise of the University of Washington Volleyball Program. I also hope to have a third book called Inside the Spaghetti Bowl, a true story of a “baby boomer” family faced the difficult task of returning home to bury their Mother available this fall.

Q: Thank you for your interview, (Frank Zaccari). Do you have any final words?

I hope and pray that you never suffer the devastation of infidelity, but if you do, let me leave you with this one last thought. When you find yourself in the depths of depression and sorrow; when you don’t believe you have the strength to even get out of bed; when you have no idea how you are going to survive the next hour – let alone raise your children. Believe me you will have ALL of these feelings. When you feel completely overwhelmed – remember this”

Look up…Get up…And never ever Give up.

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