Shannon Yingst is a woman with dreams far beyond her reach. Not because she isn’t ambitious, but because she is short, and her dreams are on the high shelves. On her tip toes reaching for those dusty aspirations, she hopes to achieve the daunting task of entertaining the masses with the written word. Shannon likes to write while listening to Star Wars soundtracks, stand outside while it snows, and get confused playing board games. She would love to spend her days reading on the beach with a waiter bringing her frozen margaritas and snacks as the sun moves about the sky, but for now, she will continue to work at her desk in Jersey.

If They Can’t Kiss Right: Surviving Online Dating is her latest book.

You can visit her blog at https://waitstophelp.blogspot.com/ or connect with her on Twitter.

TWL: Welcome to The Writer's Life! How did you come up with the idea to write your book?

Shannon Yingst: I came up with the idea after numerous bad dates that were almost so unbelievably odd it seemed like a giant joke. My friends were there for every minute of this insane ride, and they encouraged me to write the stories down. I always joked about writing a book based on my life and toyed with the idea as my family has stories just as hilariously odd, but this was something that felt right in the time. Everyone was online dating and it was only becoming more of a trend as the days went on, so a lot of people could relate. Who knows, maybe next I will write that book based on my childhood my mom has been telling me to do.

TWL: Can you give us a short excerpt?

Shannon: Chapter 1: Oceans Away

I spent three years of my life in a negative relationship with a man that lived over three thousand miles away, in the UK. Miles and miles of ocean and land separated us, but I thought he was the only man that would ever love me.

Always the fat girl in class, my life revolved more around making others laugh rather than pursuing crushes. That is not to say I didn't try chasing them anyway. I knew the outcome, though: the boys always liked the other girls, the skinny girls. Me? I was the ‘fun friend’. My yearbooks are filled with homages to my sense of humor and even sometimes to my friendly nature. Other girls were told to call the boys over the summer, reminded of their beauty, and endlessly complimented. My sense of humor was about all anyone ever noticed about me.

"Am I ugly?" I would ask close friends. No matter what age, I always got the same answer in some form or another.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're really funny and that counts for a lot." They would smile wide with kind eyes, avoiding mine. My question never directly answered. I began to think this was all for me – humor. My only redeeming quality. I would never be ‘pretty’ in a conventional sense.

Now this isn't to say that beauty and boys are everything in life. I can guarantee you that they will never be everything in your life. They aren’t in mine. They are a side mission, not a main quest. However, I wanted nothing more than to find a man to join my story, to build along with me. I think we all want someone with whom to share our journey.

Right now, you’re reading this book for one of three reasons. Reason A: the humor in which each story unfolds - a good laugh is great for your skin* (*not medically proven.) Reason B: you want to avoid some of the same speed bumps I hit and save your sanity. Reason C: you want to see if our stories match and make sure everything is going as normal as possible. Relatively speaking. I don’t really mind whichever reason it is, but I do hope you gain something from my tale, and my sage wisdom. That being said, let me take you back to where this all started.

Desperate to fill that superficial abyss, I landed with the man from England.

We agreed that we would never see other people. We agreed it was a real relationship, despite only seeing each other twice a year, during my Christmas break from college and in the summer after school ended. He could easily get time off work, and spent most, if not all of it, with me. Looking back now, I'm not sure if it was selfish of me to take all his vacation time. Of course, he never let me forget how much it cost his wallet. Never mind that I worked all summer long and was barely able to afford my trip to him come December.

TWL: What part of the book was the most fun to write?

Shannon: I had a lot of fun with the nicknames portion for all the men, but my favorite by far were the chapters including my friends. I love my friends and would not be the same person I am today without them. Writing their chapters felt like I was showing them how much they mean to me. It also meant I got to relive some of the best moments of my life with them. It was a treat for me and hopefully a treat for them to see their names on the page.

TWL: What’s one fact about your book that would surprise people?

Shannon: The ending should have been rewritten as I broke up with the guy from my last chapter, but it was a time crunch and my publisher suggested we leave it the way it is to keep on schedule. I agreed only because we had already worked so hard to get to this point and I was not going to ruin that because some guy had to be a sourpuss. There were also some threats from the guy in the last chapter that might have sparked police involvement and my publisher said he did not want to be questioned by the FBI. For our sake and the sake of keeping to the deadline, we left it.

TWL: What other books are you working on and when will they be published?

Shannon: Currently, I am more focused on my 9-5 job. I write here and there, but it is nothing concrete. There is an idea I have been working on but keep stopping it and restarting it brand new. It is a fan fiction type idea to post weekly chapters of on my blog. When I was younger, I had a ball writing terrible fan fiction based around a band I was obsessed with called McFly. It was such a fun and carefree time. The stories were often so outlandish and not well written at all, but I loved writing them and people loved reading them. I thought it would be nice to get back into that and planned on it but have yet to actually fulfil that idea.

TWL: Finally, what message are you trying to get across with your book?

Shannon: I want people to laugh with me or at me, just enjoy your time reading my book. If you take away only one thing, let it be this: no matter your number or your body type, you deserve love and to be happy. No one can tell you different.

TWL: Do you have any final words?

Shannon: Thank you for taking the time to work with me! Thank you for reading my book! Thank you for all of it!

Title: IF THEY CAN’T KISS RIGHT: SURVIVING ONLINE DATING
Author: Shannon Yingst
Publisher: Tyburn Hill Media Co.
Pages: 150
Genre: Creative Nonfiction

BOOK BLURB:

Warning: Adult Content

Online dating: the new way of life. It seems like the only logical way to meet people anymore. The rest of our lives are on the internet, so why not our love lives too? Because if you wait for your friends to set you up, you’ll only be disappointed with their choice of Roger from accounting, the epitome of mouth breathing, booger eating morons.

Fortunately, there are no Rogers from accounting in this tale. There are, however, many other bad choices. But along the way, I learned what I want, and what I don’t want in a relationship. I learned good qualities to seek and bad qualities to leave behind. I also learned a lot about myself in the process, too. The biggest gain I got from my foray into online dating, though? Writing this book and passing along some of the life lessons I discovered through a painful trial-and-error process.

If you think your dating life is bad, take a gander at mine. Relive the awkward moments, soak in the unnecessary drama, and don’t forget to learn a thing or two. Men and women alike will be able to read this and take-home solid dating advice for the future.

Laugh. Learn. Love. Question why some humans are so insane. Maybe even see yourself in some of the pages. But above all, take to heart all the things I figured out along the way. It’ll save you the heartache and trouble. Trust me.